Hilarious article by Buster Gunning on the empty luxury suites at Washington Nationals games since “king of lobbyists” Jack Abramoff’s fall from grace. Here’s a key graph:

Washington Nationals’ officials are scrambling to figure out a way to fill the expensive suites. One idea that saw marginal success was the “Adopt a Politician for a Day” campaign where various politicians in need of kickbacks lined up outside of the stadium in hopes of being auctioned off to the highest bidder who would then purchase one of the many lavish suites available.